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National Monuments Hawii


Obeying The Principles Of Funeral Etiquette

The death of a loved one is never easy to deal with and it impacts each person in a different way. This is an especially difficult time for the family who are having to cope with their loss as well as all of the necessary arrangements. Understanding some of the most basic guidelines of funeral etiquette allows every mourner the opportunity to pay their respects for the deceased.

Generally speaking, utilizing a bit of discretion and practical common sense will guide one through most situations. For all others, there are a few basic principles that may be applied. It is important to note that should the deceased have made special requests or belonged to a religion or culture with specific traditions, those should be followed by all attendees as a matter of respect.

Clothing is one topic that almost always comes up in discussions regarding proper funerary behavior. The safest decision is to wear something conservative, of a dark color, with no pattern or one that is very muted and that will not draw the attention of the crowd away from the one being mourned. Unless the requests or beliefs of the deceased state otherwise, this is the best choice of attire for men and women.

One should make great effort to not be late to the services. The guidelines dictate that arriving fifteen to twenty minutes early is considered respectful to all involved and provides ample time for sharing condolences before the proceedings begin. Should a delay be unavoidable, either wait outside or enter as silently as possible and take a seat in the rear of the room so as not to disturb others.

Condolences should be offered to the family members to express sympathy for their loss. Remarks should be brief and sincere, whether delivered in person or in a written correspondence, avoiding the urge to offer advice on how to cope with grief. Sharing a special memory of the deceased is a sweet gesture though one should take care not to make themselves the center of the story.

These types of proceedings allow family and friends the opportunity to exchange touching memories of a lost love one, to pay respects to the bereaved and to say their final farewells. Emotions are high and sensitive during these times and following funeral etiquette reduces the risk of anyone becoming more upset than necessary. If unsure of what is the proper thing to do, one would do well to resort to common sense and discretion.


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